The Funny Breakfast Club
by StephBender0791
Summary: This is a funny story i made about the Breakfast club . it's just a spoof of the movie. ENJOY!


The Breakfast Club like you never seen them before.

"...And these children  
that you spit on  
as they try to change their worlds  
are immune to your consultations.  
They're quite aware  
of what they're going through..."  
**David Bowie**

_(Brian glares up and sees the Quote. his eyes are glazed over after smoking dope)_

"What the Hell does that Mean???!!! And why is there glass breaking everywhere? Who threw a rock at the window??!"

_( John Hughes Stops rolling and looks at Brian)_

"Anthony… we went over this 6 times before!!! No one threw a rock at the screen and that Quote if from a song!!"

_(John Hughes Mumbling to himself)_ " Jesus the kids today!! Doing dope all over the place!!"

_(John Hughes Screams at Anthony Michael Hall again)_ " PUT THE GODDAMN DOPE DOWN!!! IT"S NOT EVEN 10:30 IN THE MORING!!!"

_( crawling out of camera view)_ sorry…

_( John Hughes goes back to filming and Screams action)_

ACTION!! LETS FINISH THIS SHIT ALREADY!!!!

_(Brian is sitting in the car with his mom and sister)_

"So Brian are you done doing stupid things?? Are you ever going to do this again?? Huh ? Huh?!!"

( _Brian starts to cry like a baby)_

"No.. No Never again Mommy!!!"

" Good! Now get out of the car !!! ( Mumbles to herself) _"goddamn wuss" _( _Brian's sister from the back hears' )_

" YAY BRIAN YOU WUSS!!!"

_( Claire sitting in her car with her dad whining like a bitch)_

" DADDDD!! Why can't you get me out of this!!??"

" damn it Claire I can't you get you out of everything!!! Now get your ass out of the Car before I push you out of this Car!!!"

_( Claire's dad speeds way without even letting her close the door behind here)_

_( John Bender strolls across the street with out even looking where he's going. A car stops dead before it almost hits him )_

" I 'M WALKING HERE!!!!" " God people these days not even looking where there going!!"

_(Allison was in the car that almost hit John Bender. When she saw him walk in front. she let out a squeal )_

"EEEEEEEE!!!!"

_( without even saying goodbye Allison's parents unlocked the doors and pushed there Daughter out of the backseat)_

"Bye Mom and Da…d"

_( before she could even finish her goodbyes her parents drove off leaving Allison in the Dust)_

" ASSHOLES!!"

_( Andrew Clark sat in the Car with his Dad before heading inside the school)_

" YOU WANNA BLOW YOUR RIDE YOU DUMBASS??!! WHO THE HELL TAPES A KIDS ASS CHEEKS TOGETHER?!"

_( Andrew jumped out of the car before his dad even finished talking)_

"JACKASS!! WHY ARE YOU ROLLING YOUR EY….( SLAM)"

_( We see the gang sitting in the Library waiting for Vernon to come in)_

"Hey Cherry you wanna make out in the closet later??"

"EWW NO! I don't even know you!!"

_( Vernon runs in the room looking like he just ran a race)_

"HEY YOU JACKASSES SHUT UP AND WRITE A DAMN PAPER ABOUT WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE!! YOU GOT ME?!!!"

_( Vernon storms out of the room mumbling to himself about how screwed up the kids today are)_

Brian: So I guess we should write are paper then!

Bender: Shut the fuck up you nerd!!

Andy: Hey Hey Hey!! that Nerd has a name damn it!!

Brian: Thanks Andy your a real….

Andy: It's Mister Nerd!! HAHHA!!!

Bender: Good one man!!!

_( Bender and Andy give one another High fives )_

Claire: Oh my god I can't believe I'm in Detention!! I just can't believe that I got Detention!!

Allison: HA!!

Claire: SHUT UP!!!

Andy: Whoa….. she can talk!!!

Allison: Shut up jockstrap!!

Andy: I love you…

Brian: Hey I Think we should all just write are paper and not get in trouble!!

Bender: How about you right the paper for use Nerd?!!

Brian: Fine I will!!!!

_( Brian starts to write anything that pops into his head)_

Brian: Cheese…..Sex….. Claire's Underwear……

Claire: WHAT?!!!

Brian: Yeah I wrote underwear because I can see it!! And so can Bender……

_( Bender's under the table looking up Claire skirt)_

Claire: PIG!!! _( smacks Bender)_

Bender: Hey what can I say!! I like the view!

_( Vernon Storms in the room)_

Vernon: What the hell is going on in here!!!?!!

Andy: nothing were just sitting here sir!!

Vernon: Shut up you get another Detention!!!

Andy: But… I was just..

Vernon: Another one Clarke!!!

Andy: EAT MY SHORTS DICK!!!

Bender: HEYY !!! THAT'S MY LINE ASSHOLE!!!

Andy: sorry I just wanted to say that for so long!!!

_( Bender looks at Vernon and Smiles)_

Bender: EAT MY SHORTS DICK!!!!

Vernon: That's it !!!! 10 more Saturdays for you Bender!!!

Bender: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!

Vernon: that's another Saturday!!

Bender: Fuck you Dick!!!

Vernon: Your disguising Bender!! Fuck you!!

Bender: No! I would like to screw Claire instead!!

Claire: Huh??!

_( Bender wiggles his eyebrows at Claire and mouths " call me" )_

Claire: your weird Bender!!

Bender: I know.. isn't it great??!!

Vernon: Stop talking!! I'm going back into my office to read some porno's!! I mean " Car magazines" ahem… gotta go!!!

( _the gang all give a weird face)_

_the gang is all bored waiting for it to be lunch time)_

Bender: Hey Cherry….

Claire: Shut up!!

Andy: Hi.. um.. I'm um Andy…..what's your name-e??

Allison: Shut up jockstrap!!!

Andy: hey that's a cool name!! I love you…

Brian: Wow!! With all this time I have I can get a lot of Homework done!!!

_(Andy, Allison , Bender and Claire all turn around at the same time.)_

Andy, Allison, Bender and Claire all at the same time: NERD!!!

Brian: thanks!

_( Vernon walks in the room )_

Vernon: Ok it Lunchtime retards!!

Brian: But I'm not done with….

Vernon: Shut up!! And eat damn it!

_( the gang all get there lunch out)_

Claire: where's your lunch John??

Bender: it's your tongue in my mouth!!

Andy : ewww

Allison: I'm having pixie sticks and coke!!!

Andy: wow…I love you…

Bender: what are you having Brian??

Brian: You know just the normal lunch!!

Bender: umm let me see…Perception meds….. PB and J….. Weed…. Soup…

Bender: Yup! just a regular everyday lunch at my house!! But I gotta ask.. did your mom marry Mr. Roger's??

Brian: NOPE!! Reggie Jackson!!!

Bender: Huh??! Wait this is my impression of life at Big Nerd pants house!!!

Bender: Hey son lets go fishing gee golly gosh!!!

Andy: What about your home life Bender?!!

Bender: Oh me?? That's easy….Pow! Fuck you…Pow! Bitch!!…..Pow!

Claire: wow that's sexy!!

Bender: I know…

Bender: Hey lets go to my Locker everyone!!!

_( they run out of the Library to Bender's locker)_

Bender: Look I got Weed!!!!

Allison: YAY!!!

Bender: None for you!!

Allison: aww mann!

Brian: OH NO IT'S VERNON!!!

_( they all start running down the hall. Funny 80's music starts to play as they run.)_

Andrew: WHOA!! The floors are really slipperier!!

Bender: We know. They do that to make this scene look cool by letting us slip on are asses!!!

Andrew: We have to go through the Art Room!!

Bender: No the social studies room!!!

Andy: NO! it's the Art roo…

Bender: forget it forget it!! Just take the pot back to the Library!! And I'll take the blame - talking to himself-_like that's anything new._

Bender: Here Neo- maxi- Zoom- dweebie!

_( puts pot in Brian's pants) _

Bender: and Don't let your ding-a-ling touch it!!!

Brian: ohh this feels funny in my pants!!

_( Bender is in the closet getting screamed at by Vernon)_

Vernon: go a head Bender!! Punch me!! I would love to see it!!

POW!!_ ( Bender hits him in the face)_

Bender: Hey you said to hit you in the face!!

Vernon: You Son of a bitch!!!

_( Vernon walks out of the closet and locks Bender in)_

Bender: Forget it!! I'm not staying in here!!

_( Bender crawls in the vents and falls thought the ceiling )_

Bender: OWWW!! That hurt like a Bitch!!

Bender: can I have my Pot Nerd ass??

Brian: Yeah but just turn around when I get it out of my pants!

_( everyone turns around as Brian gets the pot out of his pants)_

Bender: Thanks nerd!

_( there sitting in a circle smoking Bender's Pot)_

Bender: Cherry.. I want you…

Claire: I'm so popular that it's not even funny!!!

Andy: Look at me dancing and breaking glass yoo-hoo!!

Allison: wow..

Brian: Chicks can't hold their smoke!! That's how it is!!

_( Bender smacks Brian in the head and he falls over the chair)_

_( an hour later the gang is talking in a circle) _

Allison: so… Claire you ever done it before??

Claire: Umm that is none of your business!

Bender: Cherry, it doesn't sound like your doing any busy!!

Claire: Shut up!!

Andy: Brian here is a virgin that will never get laid!!!

Brian: Hey! That's not true I laid lots of girls in the Niagra falls area!!

Bender: Sure you have…Brian you just keep thinking that.

Brian: What about you Bender?!! I bet you never had Sex before in you life!!

Bender: Oh you want to bet??

_( pulls out his wallet with pictures of every girl he's slept with in Shermer) _

Bender: you believe now nerd ass??

_( Brian start mumbling to himself about be wrong)_

Allison: So you wanna know why I'm here??

Andy: Sure basket case! Why are you here??

Allison: I have no friends! And had nothing better to do on a Saturday!! Hahha!!

Claire: Can I give you a makeover Allison??

Allison: sure why not. No one would go near me if I stayed like this!

Andy: I would….

Allison: yeah whatever…

_( Claire and Allison run off so Claire can give Allison a makeover)_

Claire: So….you like Andy???

Allison: no not really I was going for Brian but….. Andy's got a car!!!

_( after Allison Makeover Brian and Andy can't believer it)_

Brian: WHOA!! That can't be you!!

Andy: Wow! I like I like!!

Allison: Thanks

_( Claire goes in the closet to see Bender)_

Bender: Hey Cherry.. you wanna do it now or later??

Claire: Your sick!!

_( they start to make out in the Closet)_

_(So the day has come to an end and the Breakfast Club are leaving the school)_

_(Andy Makes out with Allison.)_

Andy: I love you Allison..

Allison: I love you t…. Omg I'm stealing that patch!!

_( Runs away off screen)_

Andy: -sigh- what a women!!

_( Claire and John are outside saying there goodbyes. Claire gives Bender some thing every special) _

Claire: Here John I want you to have this!!

Bender: What is it??!

Claire: My underwear!! Now every time you look at them you'll think of me!

Bender: -sigh- I love you!!

_( Claire and John start making out in front of Claire's Dad)_

Claire's Dad: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GET IN THIS DAMN CAR!!

_( "Don't forget you about me" starts to play in the background as John walks across the field)_

_John: (Throwing his Fist in the air)_YES I SCORED WITH THE HOT PROM QUEEN!!!

END.


End file.
